Love Tears Me Up Like a Demon
by Eliana Panthera
Summary: Harley Quinn could make Ivy feel so many human things. -Harley/Ivy- -Ivy character study-


**Title: **Love Tears Me Up Like a Demon

**Genre: **Angst, Hurt/comfort, Romance

**Rating: **High PG-13 or light R

**Pairing: **Harley Quinn/Poison Ivy

**Summary: **Harley Quinn could make Ivy feel so many human things.

**Notes: **I've really only seen a couple episodes of Batman: The Animated Series, done some character studies on the Batman Wiki, and read a lot of fic. So my characterization of Harley and Ivy probably isn't great. But I love these characters and I thought I'd give it a shot. Please be gentle with me here! Also, the title is from the song "Fuck Was I" by Jenny Owen Youngs.

XXX

Bruises were splattered like paint across the shelf of Harley's jaw and around the curve of her eye. Her blonde hair was not pulled up for once, falling wildly around her pale cheeks. Her eyes were downturned, her arms wrapped protectively around her body as she sat on Poison Ivy's couch.

"Thanks, Red."

Her voice was raw, and she didn't look up, blue eyes focused on where her arms crossed and her hands cupped her elbows. For once, she was not in her familiar jester costume. Instead, a worn, oversized sweater fell somewhat haphazardly off her left shoulder and she sleeves tangled in her fingers. She was wearing a pair of light green shorts that Ivy vaguely remembered giving her to sleep in the second or third time she had shown up. It all made her look even smaller and more vulnerable.

Instead of responding, Ivy sighed and tried to phrase the question that sat in the space behind her lips. She formed the words inside her mouth but all that came out was, "Why?" The world tumbled heavily into the couch cushion between them. It sat awkwardly and its letters fought for space, formed by the rest of the unspoken question. _Why do you let him do this to you? Why do you always go back? Why are all of your visits here inspired by the clown hurting you? _And finally, the largest and also the most unspoken of all _Why do I love you like I do?_

Harley Quinn could make Ivy feel so many human things. Weak things. Love and lust and a need for reassurance. She had taken the walls Ivy had spent such a long time molding around herself and shattered them, knocking them right back down on top of her. Ivy hated having _feelings _but Harley gave her so many. Too many. They made razor-winged butterflies inside of her body that tore at her heart and left acidic punctures in her lungs. They ricocheted inside of her mind and caught in her stomach.

That was how it had always been, though. Harley had always been _too much _of everything and Ivy had always been _not enough _of anything.

Harley was oblivious. Or at least, she did a good job of ignoring it. How could she not know? It was there in the way Ivy looked at her. It lived in her touches and her comfort and the way she always took her back no matter how many times Harley decided to rip her cold heart from her chest and stomp on it before forcing it back in. But the younger woman never mentioned it so Ivy forced herself to swallow back all of the emotions and pretend they were non-existent.

"Can we go to bed now?" Harley asked, completely ignoring any of the incredibly loud, incredibly silent questions. She finally looked up, staring at a point somewhere past Ivy's left shoulder. Even after her Mistah J beat her, Harley always carried the faintest trace of perkiness and optimism with her. But for once, there was absolutely none. Her skin was just a few shades darker than it was with her white make-up. There were lines at the corner of her mouth and eyes, holding hands and linking arms. Her eyes were not bright with childish mirth. Her bruised lips were turned down, her usual smirk no longer pulling at their corners.

Ivy rose to her feet and offered a hand. Harley batted it away, and something flickered in her eyes. The older woman read it quickly, before it could disappear. Harley was grasping desperately for a sliver of independence. She was broken and afraid but she wanted even the tiniest hold on her sanity again. Ivy pulled her hand away and let Harley lead her down the hall, happy to offer that to her.

It gave her time to compose herself, anyway.

She knew what would happen. It was the hardest part. The part where her heart expanded so it cracked her ribs and the suppressed agony tried to force hot tears from her eyes. Ivy breathed in and out, calling on whatever peace she could find in herself. It came grudgingly, and she knew, like always, it wouldn't last.

Damn Harley. Damn her and the human pain she caused.

The bedroom was dark except for the faintest trace of leaky moonlight as it drizzled from between the curtains and spilled in puddles across the floor. Ivy tried to force all thought from her mind. She tried to focus on Harley and just Harley. Her own emotions were trivial. They were inside her mind but Harley was here, scared and broken and needy before her.

The kisses were slow and bruising. Ivy forced all of her emotion and focus into them. She centered her entire being on the practiced meeting of their lips and the way their bodies moved together. She put everything she had into the way her fingers moved over Harley's skin, over the places that made her breath hitch and the ones that made her cry out to a god Ivy was sure neither one of them believed in. This was what she always did. She put everything she felt into touching Harley. Into loving her. She just let it happen and hoped that the jester understood. That she felt everything Ivy was telling her through actions and she stayed this time instead of shattering her heart into a million jagged shards.

When it was over, they curled up together. Ivy held Harley close, curling her fingers in the locks of wild blonde hair that fell around them like secrets. She pushed mindless words of comfort into the darkness around them, continuing even long after she heard the sound of Harley's breath slowing and deepening with sleep. Maybe, just maybe, Harley would see this time. She was so broken and vulnerable. Maybe she would see that Ivy was better for her than the Joker. Maybe she would stay. She allowed herself to do another human thing. She allowed herself to _hope_.

When Poison Ivy awoke the next morning, she was completely alone.

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